Going through a divorce when you have children takes the focus off you because you have to do what’s best for the children. In some cases, what’s best for them is difficult for you. Going into the situation without having to worry about falling for common misconceptions might make things a bit easier for you.
One thing that you can’t ever think is that you won’t have to deal with your ex once the divorce is final. As long as you’re raising the children, you’ll still have to deal with each other. This includes making decisions about them. Even when they’re adults, you might still have to work with your ex since they’ll likely want both parents at major events like their graduations and weddings.
Another point to remember is that you can’t let your ex’s actions during the marriage dictate how you view them as a parent. It doesn’t matter if they were a horrible spouse, they can still be a good parent. Focus on how they interact with your children, and look at the positives there, so you can encourage your children to continue to build a meaningful relationship with them.
Your children are going to look to you and your ex for cues about how they should react to the divorce. If you show them that everything will be just fine and that the situation is manageable, you might help to reduce their stress. It might help if you and your ex can sit down together with them and outline what’s going to happen. This unified front can show them that they’ll still have both parents present in their life.